Trader Joe's

No EU citizenship? No problem. We'll just stay here and drink margaritas and shop at Trader Joe's...

Because yes, that is another thing I will miss. I don't shop there every week, or even every month, but a pilgrimage is definitely occasionally required because TJ's is the best place for certain things, and the only place for others. To whit:

Mini chocolate PB cups. Step aside, Reese's. If I had to choose one candy for the rest of my life, this is it.

Nuts. Plain, re-stocking things, like walnut pieces and almonds; also those sweet pecans with a spicy zip, and cashews with lime, and the smoked almonds... All the nuts. Basically.

Dried fruit. Montmorency cherries are the only thing for brownies, cookies, and my Thanksgiving stuffing, and the little Main blueberries are perfect for yogurt and weird summery oatmeal.

Dried pesto tortellini; fresh ravioli, both portobello and pumpkin.

Chocolate chips and giant chocolate bars. Baking necessities.

Will also not say no to a tin of smoked herring.

RECIPE: No-Knead Bread. No-brainer.

Urban Foraging

There are things you expect from NY: traffic, noise, pigeons, rats, pizza, bagels, skyscrapers, the subway. Whether you're here for a day or a lifetime, those are all pretty much guaranteed. But there's another side to NY that's a little harder to find. It's not there all the time, and you have to know where to look, but if you pay attention the foraging opportunities are endless.

Truth be told, I barely dip a toe in the potential waters. I don't bother with mushrooms, ginkgo, black walnuts, elderflower, crab apples, nettles, dandelions, or any of the other myriad greens. But there are two things I will hunt down, and dedicate time to picking, and devour: mulberries (June) and raspberries (and blackberries) (June-July).

Mulberries are easy to spot because they're trees. You don't even have to work to identify the bark or leaves or whatever; just look at the ground. If it's covered with the dark splotches of crushed berries, you're in the right place. If the berries are black, they're ready to be picked. They're scattered all over the city, so keep an eye out, but sometimes the trees are too tall to easily harvest. The ones at Green-Wood though, pictured above, are perfect. The path just inside the 25th St entrance is lined with them, and they're within reach of anyone over a foot tall.

Raspberries and blackberries are trickier, because you have to know where to go. And I'm struggling here, with whether or not I should tell you. I want them all to myself. So we'll compromise, and I'll tell you about a patch I found years ago but never get a chance to visit: Riverside Drive, around Grant's Tomb. They're worth seeking out. The berries that grow wild (all over southern NY State, at least), are about ten times better than the ones you buy at the grocery store or farmers' market. I don't know what the deal is, but they're translucent and delicate, not matte, and they taste the way you imagine that difference should.

RECIPE: Pasta with Caramelized Cabbage, Anchovies, & Bread Crumbs. It's not the kind of thing you'd ever come up with on your own, but caramelizing cabbage and using anchovies and bread crumbs with pasta are all things you should be aware of.

I have a problem with talking about gun control.

Because I don't believe in background checks, in waiting periods, in guns that civilians should never own.

Of course I'll support those measures, because those are things that happen in the real world. Those are the best we can do, if we can even do that much. They have my vote. But I can't talk about it.

The position I hold is untenable in any debate round. I know that. I can't negate the resolution; I can only offer a critique:

Guns are evil. No one, anywhere, ever, should have one.

Not armies. Not police. Not hunters. Not end-of-the-worlders.

Because armies being able to kill more people, more quickly, is not a good thing. I am aware that the nature of warfare is one of constant escalation, but remember: this is a critique. I do not want warfare.

Because police do not need lethal force to do their jobs, and cannot be trusted with it in any event. (No more can anyone. If librarians had guns we'd use them too.) There are tasers; there are even rubber bullets; there are many ways to incapacitate without killing. Somehow the police of London, etc., get along just fine, and they have to deal with football hooligans.

Because hunters can use bows, and spears, and any other weapon that still has range and requires skill and what the hell difference does it make? If you want to kill deer and stop them from eating my mother's garden, go ahead. Just do it like you mean it.

Because end-of-the-worlders, preppers, whatever, actually have the best argument but I Do Not Care. Maybe they're right. Maybe the zombies will come. I do not care. It is not worth it. The Constitution is an amazing document, sometimes shocking in its prescience -- but sometimes woefully out of touch with the modern world. Our militias are gone; they have been replaced by a handful of crazy, or maybe too-sane people. The Constitution has been amended before.

Guns are evil.

I went to a shooting range once, with a good friend of mine. (And he is a good friend, despite owning a BMW, a cat he paid money for, and a handgun.) I held a gun for the first time, felt the weight of it, adjusted my earmuffs, fired at the target. A few times. Tried to balance the recoil. Smelled the cordite. And then I turned to look at my good friend whom I love despite disagreeing on issues that are fundamental to my being, and also at another friend, who I also love, because eventually you spend enough time with someone that you can't help it -- I looked at both of them, and at the gun in my hand, and realized that it would take only the tiniest movement -- a twitch really -- to kill either of them. I could do it. Just like that.

I put the gun down, took off my earmuffs, and walked out.

Guns are evil because guns are meant for one thing, and one thing only: killing. Quickly, efficiently, easily. They can kill accidentally. They can kill on a whim. They can kill one person, ten people, fifty people and never break a sweat.

If you think guns protect people, you are lying to yourself and ignoring every single study ever done on the subject.

Guns kill people.

So I cannot have this conversation. I cannot talk about how to control guns. I don't believe in guns. And yet guns continue to be all too real.

American Food

England is not known for its food. That is, Ottolenghi has an small empire, and I'm a sucker for meat pies and Yorkshire pudding (ie popovers), but historically the situation has been, shall we say, grim. In practice, of course, there's plenty of good food in London. But... just... not like NY. Sorry.

So I worry, sometimes, about burritos. And guacamole, tacos, cemitas, and margaritas (frozen and un-). There may be a handful of Mexican restaurants in London, but it is a way of life in NY, especially as the weather warms up (stfu California).

Unfortunately, our go-to place, our local, shut down over a year ago. Its replacement is not up to snuff. So I'm still searching (fine, CA, fine) for the perfect burrito. But as for the rest of the standbys, options are pretty thick on the ground.

Burritos. Like I said, these are not perfect. Maybe you just need the wafting scent of eucalyptus and urine. But they are acceptable, when the need arises.
Maya Taqueria
Oaxaca
Dos Toros

Cemitas. Maybe this is the year I spent in my university's cafeteria working the 8-to-midnight shift making sandwiches, but I think they are one of the world's Perfect Foods (see also: dumplings, chocolate PB cups, gin & tonics).
El Atodero
Red Hook -- barbacoa de chivo cemita, at the cart furthest west and south. I crave this thing.

Tacos:
Just go to Sunset Park or Jackson Heights. And remember: Only suckers pay more than $3/taco.

Margaritas:
Santa Fe Grill -- the food is good, if you're alright with the Park Slope stroller atmosphere. The marg is pictured above. 'Nuff said.
Habana Outpost -- the food is crap. The sunny courtyard with a frozen margarita in hand is not. Sunday nights are movie night.
Five Leaves -- the food is fantastic, if largely off-topic here, but you cannot do better for brunch than a Moroccan scramble and a grapefruit margarita.

MAP

RECIPE: Sticky Cranberry Gingerbread, if you want something besides chocolate for Christmas dessert. Pairs perfectly with egg nog ice cream.