The things you didn't realize you had to worry about

It’s inevitable: Every time we set foot in the English countryside, I’m reminded of Bill Bryson talking about the dangers of cows. Because they are dangerous, apparently; they will attack. Bill learned this at some point after moving here, and understandably felt the need to spread the word. And the English people he told said Well yes, of course, you’d better watch out if you’re in a field with cows. And the Americans he told said Why would I be in a field with cows?

Why would I be in a field with cows. I never was, in America. I can’t imagine a scenario where I would be. Cows are… elsewhere. Somewhere in Iowa, possibly being tipped. But Bryson is from Iowa, so maybe it’s actually Ohio. America just has so much space I guess the cows and the people all have enough of their own and never have to share it.

There was a sign at the edge of the field: "Stay safe – use a lead around livestock. But release your dog if chased by cattle." Why would I be in a field with cows indeed.